I wish I could time travel and make my 25 year old self read this article

Today in New York Magazine’s The Cut - a title caught my eye, 'Acne Tips from Acne Itself.’

Immediately, I was like, the brand or the skin kind?

I wondered and clicked at the same time. Turns out it was an irreverent little piece on acne personified. God only knows why it was written, but reading this brilliant little tale about acne’s feelings on haunting us really made my day.

“But mostly, my favorite things are to confuse, challenge, and destroy. I like to plague my hosts, and I like to watch them suffer. Is that bad? Maybe. I am not the most … I am not the most morally rigid individual you will meet. Which is to say, I don’t care.”

This makes me think that acne is actually a wild French fatalist mistress. Do I like acne now? Can I follow on the gram? LOL

I don’t know if I’ve changed, or the world has changed since I was deep in my shame k-hole that were my skin struggles, but man, where was this when I needed it?!

When I was 25, my skin was my OBSESSION. I poured my time and effort into finding the perfect foundation, the perfect skin care routine, the perfect diet and finding the skin care expert who would finally clear my skin. I would NEVER want to tally how much time and money has been funneled to my crusade for clear skin. I’d wager I could have footed myself through a year of an expensive MBA program at this point… OY THE FOLLIES OF YOUTH AND THE TRAP OF BEAUTY.

ANYWAY AS I WAS COMPLAINING, I MEAN, SAYING….

My acne, which was moderate (I say was like it’s gone, but it’s definitely still a part of my life) felt like a huge burden. I was so ridiculously envious of anyone who had clear skin and I felt so tragically less than because of my blemishes. I hid behind layers of fancy foundations, promising me the illusion of perfection and I wouldn’t dare to meet anyone new without a trip to the beauty counter at Bloomingdale’s to get an expert to do my face first.

I wish I could time travel back to myself and be like #1 give me a hug and #2 HERE’S A BITCH SLAP FOR HOW SELF-OBSESSED YOU ARE MY GOD GET A HOBBY- LET’S COUNT ALL OF THE BLESSINGS BEFORE WE FOCUS ON THIS ONE VERY MINOR PROBLEM THAT IS SERIOUSLY NOT NOTICEABLE TO MANY PEOPLE AND MOST DEFINITELY ISN’T RUINING YOUR LIFE BUT YOU KNOW WHAT MIGHT BE? THIS SELF PITY AND INSECURITY (BUT THAT’S JUST A WILD GUESS)

When acne is merely a wily spirit, here to show up and wreck your day for its own pleasure, well - that’s a nice little perspective shift. Something I could have definitely used as a confused, young 20s person who’s only life path seemed to be trying to pin down a hot date.

I will say, I don’t remember reading articles about people saying fuck it - here’s my skin and it’s broken out and I’m still beautiful - but I’m super glad that these little pieces are out there - normalizing the adult war on acne. All I can remember reading is an article in some huge magazine that stated we should all have clear skin by know because of technology and if you didn’t you haven’t been working hard enough.

And sure, maybe that’s not what it said, but it seems to me that it wasn’t until recently that celebrities started really sharing that they are in fact human too and that keeping up with the standards and pressure is also too much for them.

As much as I’m typically anti-Kardashian / Jenner, this piece of Kendall Jenner really struck a nerve. Isn’t it oddly comforting that even with that level of access, she still has the acne battle? Her recently announced a partnership with Proactiv has garnered a lot of controversy for myriad reasons, but I think it’s awesome that someone that visible is putting herself out there vulnerably like that, I find it admirable.

It’s kind of nice to know that just some of us get acne and that’s just what happens.

I’m almost 34 and I’ve been battling my skin for the better part of 12 years. I think I can safely say I’ve done it all. Given up and stopped all products, gone all natural and organic, made my own skincare, used the really expensive French stuff, gone to all the dermatologists, had all the facials, the light treatments and cried all the tears.

Last year, I bit the bullet and went on Accutane prior to my wedding. It hasn’t given me perfect skin, but it did calm things down considerably.

But I think the biggest lesson is that we aren’t our face and most people aren’t judging us or even see our imperfections the way we do. It makes me so happy to see these things discussed out in the open and I hope we can all feel a little less bad about days where we’re broken out. None of us are perfect, even those gifted with perfect skin.