PROJECTORS - THIS TIME IT IS PERSONAL
TO BE A PROJECTOR IS TO BE SEEN- EXPOSED, PERSONAL, RAW. It is the “prerequisite” to recognition and invitation.
If your life isn’t in flow and you’re a Projector, everything you read regarding Human Design can feel like a personal attack, and it can be depressing to keep trying to get the rules for the other energy types to bend to your will (spoiler alert, they never will)
As I deepen into my personal Projector experience, I am realizing that “the work” is getting comfortable with self-expression. If the only way out is through, then expressing myself means exposing myself. Vulnerability is both a practice and a power.
The people we resonate with the most are the people that unapologetically are themselves and the only way to be yourself is to be honest and vulnerable.
BUT!!!
I don’t think we talk enough about how fuuuuucking uncomfortable it is to be vulnerable ESPECIALLY WHEN THINGS HAVE NOT WORKED OUT TO PLAN IN THE PAST.
Projectors experience rejection differently because of how the aura is designed. That one to one energetic connection means when it doesn’t go smoothly, the energetic residue (or kickback) can lodge itself in our energy body, and that bitterness can appear.
TO decondition, to move out of our protective layer, TO MOVE THROUGH OUR PROGRAMMING is to sift through our conditioning and say, WHO THE FUCK AM I? WHAT DO I EVEN LIKE?
And this is the work that I personally have put off for ages, instead using my Projector aura to focus on others instead of doing the work of self-recognition.
It can feel so painfully personal to put myself out there and I think we should acknowledge How freaking AWKWARD it is to put yourself out there to get your feelings hurt or rejected, to say I LOVE THIS THING and have someone go, “that’s gross, disgusting, I hate that, ew.”
ACK. NO. I’d rather just stay in my little protected dream world (and I do, until I get fucking bitter as hell that no one sees me)
BECAUSE BEING SEEN AND RECOGNIZED BEGINS WITHIN — WE CANNOT BE SEEN IF WE’RE SPENDING ALL OUR TIME HIDING AND ACTIVELY CONCEALING OUR PERSONALITIES FROM CRITICISM.
THIS IS MY BATTLEGROUND and if this resonates with you, it may be your battleground too.
AnI I take solace that it is a tale as old as time. If Adam and Eve hid from God, so really who am I to think I wouldn’t have to reckon with this?
Spending time getting to know what’s in my chart has helped give me the permission and the confidence to move forward towards my desires. Seeing the talents in my chart has helped me process that I am uniquely designed for a specific function and by looking for others who are doing the same things that I am is the wrong avenue.
Human Design has shown me we’re all given a role and we can chose to play out that role OR NOT. We can always chose the not self, it will always be there. And so the personal route is frequently the lonely route, it can be isolating to walk your own path, but ultimately it is YOUR PATH that will lead to satisfaction, peace, success, surprise.
If you want to learn more about your individual chart - reach out to me to schedule a reading. I’d love to reflect your chart to you.