Field Notes + Observations - May 2021
What's funny to me is how tapped into the planets and the cosmic weather we all are, even when we don't consciously pay attention. Themes emerge in our lives that are tied into the planetary themes from above.
In my sessions and in my personal relationships, nearly everyone this past month was noticing the familial patterns + ancestral trauma that needed to be cut loose and dealt with. Is it a coincidence then that this past week's lunar eclipse focused on making sense of the past so you can be present for the future of your own making?
Familial patterns (well worn routines and automatic behaviors that have been taught and handed down in our families) and ancestral trauma (the pains that are in our familial line that we didn’t personally experience, but we physically carry the experience in our bodies) are big things that are coming up because those of us who are on earth right now are shifting the culture and traditions that we carry forward and pass on to the next generations.
We’ve got to be conscious about what we’re bringing into the world and preserving - so it’s our responsibility to take a deep dive into what needs to be shed.
In my own life, I’ve been noticing how my perfectionism is more than just something I struggle with in my life - it is a familial pattern that has been passed down. I was taught (unconsciously) to pay more attention to the image I was creating and preserving more than the experience I was having. How I felt was not valued, the value was placed on how I was being perceived from the outside. As I’ve sat with this - I realize this has been passed down as a matter of safety. We don’t want to stick out, but rather it is safer to blend in.
This pattern has been a problem for me because it conflicts directly against my design - as a splenic Projector, I have to be able to tap into how I am feeling and my natural instincts to make my best moves. If I am second guessing myself to preserve or maintain an image, I am not serving myself. Sitting with this and sifting out how these patterns are not my natural instinct but are learned has been a big part of my journey over the past year.
Sometimes we can release patterns quickly once we’ve identified them and other patterns take much longer to dislodge. Being patient as you identify where you are holding family energy and growing your awareness (even if it feels like it is taking for-ev-er) IS forward movement.