Understanding Conditioning: Body Image + Human Design

I remember distinctly being in 4th grade and the girl next to me in music class lamenting her “fat thighs.”

As I heard this girl tear her body apart, I was struck by what she was saying. I hadn’t really given too much thought to my thighs before this moment and her words drove into me like a wedge.

Was I supposed to hate my body?

PAUSE: Human Design immediately makes me think about childhood body image? YES.

A huge part of living your design is releasing the conditioning that you’ve picked up along the way that pushes you to live in your NOT SELF.

As adults, we know that this 9 year old didn’t authentically hate her “fat thighs,” she was simply reflecting the conditioning of her family and the cultural beliefs that she had absorbed from her environment. Something I reference all the time on my instagram is the Beauty Redefined book and teachings. Lexie and Lindsay Kite, PhD’s have researched exactly how women are taught to self-objectify themselves and the harm that causes.

Finding the beliefs that keep us stuck from being ourselves is one of the first steps needed when you are working towards living YOUR fulfilling life. If you are living in a woman’s body, chances are you need to work through your self-objectifying beliefs so that you can get into your authentic desires and energy.

To connect to our inner voice and guidance, we must be IN and connected to our bodies. Facing memories and beliefs about what keeps us disconnected from our bodies is a HUGE part of the process. It is not pretty, it doesn’t really feel good either, but it is a part of the process that allows you to get to a place of authenticity within yourself and isn’t that the whole point of being alive?

Competition, comparison, body image issues, it all starts YOUNG. It serves as a distraction from living your life. It is also strategically used to oppress women because we can’t move forward if we’re too worried about how we look.

In Human Design terminology, this is called conditioning. We are conditioned to fit in and be acceptable so that we get our needs met. Women believe that their value is tied to how they look and therefore we shut down huge swaths of our authentic selves to divert precious resources to making ourselves “acceptable.” But you are not a stock. Your value does NOT rise and fall in concordance with your physical appearance.

Why does this matter? Conditioning holds us back from being who we are. If we are worried about HOW WE LOOK, then we are not clued into HOW WE FEEL.

How you look may get you rewarded externally for a bit, but tuning into how you FEEL will lead to actually being aligned with your highest self.

When we are in flow we are freely allowing our unique energetic signature to beam into universe with clarity.

When we are living in our NOT SELF, we’re scrambling or hiding our energetic signature - and we’re not calling in the correct opportunities and people for us.

In order to clear out our conditioning so that we’re beaming out a clear signal, we’ve got to get in our bodies to feel our authority so that we’re not overthinking and getting stuck in our conditioning.

Embodiment is the antidote to self-objectification. Striving to live fully in our physical being leads to our full expression of being. 

Embodiment is a word thrown around a lot lately. But what does it really mean when someone says this? If we look to the dictionary, we see embody to mean giving a body to a spirit. I see embodiment as a channel to deeper self-understanding. We need to be fully grounded in ourselves (our body) to make decisions that are truly the best for us. 

I find it can be helpful if we all understand that embodiment simply means being grounded in our body. Now, this isn’t a seamless transition. It’s taken me a long time to drop my self-objectification and just allow myself to BE. It feels awkward at first to not participate in diet culture. I felt self-conscious to just let my body be - but the more I just allowed myself to be, the more I realized I could hear what my body was saying. I felt what a yes and no was in my body.

Allow embodiment to be a daily practice. Notice how often you are disconnected and watching yourself in life. Gently steer yourself back into the present moment.

What do you feel? I found that slow flow yoga and yin yoga really helped me connect into my physical being. A physical practice of any kind that helps you be present and in the moment will help you connect to your inner voice.

Want to learn more? Let’s chat

Human Design is a Compass for our Wellbeing

What I love about working with my clients and Human Design is that we always end up at the heart of who you are. I see Human Design as a cosmic compass pointing to who we were all underneath the layers of conditioning and expectations we heap on ourselves (intentionally and not).

Sometimes we need a reintroduction to who we are and sometimes all we need is permission to embrace what makes us special. The beating heart of my sessions is a constant - we can run from who we are, we can bury who we are, we can hate who we are - but we are who we are.

The best course forward is to love who we are. In all my career paths, this is the lesson that I’ve learned, and it gets deeper every year. As a teacher, I found that the students who got the most out of their assignments were the students who were willing to learn from their mistakes and honestly assess their shortcomings. These students didn’t see their work as personal failings, they understood it was a marker in time and they could use the information to make the next piece that much more interesting. Students who found a personal interest in what they were doing were also more successful because they were able to integrate the information and the lessons fully.

As a fitness instructor, I saw the same thing. The students who could take critical feedback on their form and didn’t take it personally grew stronger and typically didn’t injure themselves. Being able to see yourself honestly allows you to move forward effectively and efficiently.

The clients who were in denial about their abilities didn’t get better. Something I saw both in fitness classes and teaching school is the people who can mimic the work without integrating it. Some students have learned to get through school by sheer memorizing, but they don’t really conceptually understand what they’ve put forth. The same thing happens in fitness classes; there are clients who can mimic the work and appear to be doing the exercises but are actually just performing. The real strength just isn’t there, they are superficially executing the moves. It may feel good to look like you’re doing it, but I believe you know deep down when your work isn’t more than surface level.

True wellbeing isn’t a performance. Moving from external performance to internal integration takes humility and perseverance. We must be willing to make mistakes, learn from our mistakes, and approach life like a scientist in a lab; trying different ways without attaching to our expectations. If a scientist keeps trying one way and doesn’t allow for flexibility, trying multiple avenues and different materials, they will never make progress. If we get hung up on a certain set of beliefs, we become stagnant and stuck. Change and evolution is the only constant in life. Don’t get stuck in the past because you can’t adapt to the now.

If you are stuck in the past, Human Design can help you identify where you are stuck. We come back to who we are when we live in alignment with who we are instead of living against who we are.

I love Human Design because when I began to study my own blend of energy, I was able to release a lot of conditioning that had been holding me back. Human Design is the anchor that drives me to keep going and continue to stake my own claim on life. It alone isn’t a tool of transformation, but it is the map, showing us what we are working towards. It gives us signposts that we can use to know when we’re on our way and when we’re moving away from our authenticity.

When we layer that Human Design map with our self-care practices, we can facilitate our own healing. We can transform.

You are meant to be the expert and authority on yourself. By having an understanding of your key energies (through knowing your own Human Design) you can trust yourself more. You won‘t need to follow someone else’s advice or be driven to tick boxes. We can develop a deeper understanding of what we’re releasing and what we’re inviting in. Just like working with intentions, when we know what we’re working towards, we have a better chance of getting there. We can cut out distractions and we can spot the tools we need on our journey.

Have you ever accidentally turned down a blessing? Been invited somewhere or given an opportunity and squandered it because you just didn’t understand how to use it?

Human Design gives us the map so that we see the value in doing self-care, it becomes the WHY.

• Why do I want to take care of my body? (So I can hear my own intuition and authority instead of being driven by old programming and internalized voices from my youth)

• Why do I want to practice movement like Pilates and yoga? (So that I am able to release stuck emotions and energy, clearing out the stuck energy so I can feel more myself)

• Why do I want to do breathwork and meditation? (So I can feel comfortable with my emotions and recognize that I am not my thoughts)

When we understand WHY we are doing something, it becomes inherently more meaningful. When we know WHAT we are working towards, we feel energized and inspired. Our life isn’t about harmonizing our body, mind & soul, it’s what happens once we’ve found that harmony. We won’t always live in harmony, but when we understand how to bring ourselves back to alignment, we won’t be spending all our time striving for it. I’m interested in what happens once we’ve created a firm foundation for ourselves. How do we grow and expand and express ourselves? What can you do in the world once you feel safe being you?