Let me tell you about my boat

This week I went kayaking for the first time. There are two options at the rental center and I’d been paddleboarding for the last 5 times. I’d never tried kayaking, and it was time to try. I grabbed a paddle and a life jacket. As I plopped myself into the kayak, I didn’t ask for any instructions or inform them that I had no idea what I was doing.

I figured, I’d watched people kayak before, how hard can it be to execute?

Immediately, it was apparent that this required skill and that I was severely lacking.

As I flailed around in my kayak, flinging water everywhere like a distressed animal fighting for its life, I realized some things:

1. I am stubborn as a mule

I was close enough to the dock that I could have called for help, even something as simple as, WHICH WAY TO I USE THE PADDLE? CURVE TO ME OR AWAY FROM ME?

I didn’t do that.

I figured I’d continue to splash around a bit, looking foolish for the next few moments, and then it’d click. How much of a learning curve could there be?

10 minutes later, panic struck when it became apparent that because I had so little control over the direction of the boat that I might not make it back to the dock. I alternated between 360 spins, moving in stilted zig-zags and Tokyo drifting my way across the lake.

2. THANK GOD I CAN SWIM

It dawned on my that I can swim and abandoning ship was becoming a likely realistic exit solution if I was not going to be able to navigate my direction or gain any semblance of control.

Having realized that I wasn’t going to require outside intervention, I doubled down on my flailing.

3. Tenacity and insanity in equal measures

Somehow, I had managed to continue in a forward direction, but was still slapping my paddle about as if I had no ability to control my limbs (perhaps I didn’t?)

As other fellow lake goers glided gracefully by, I’d shout out things like, “IT’S OKAY I’M A NEW DRIVER,” and “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING,” and most importantly, “I’M SORRY BUT I AM CERTAIN THAT I CAN’T AVOID A DIRECT COLLISION.” Yes, I crashed into the same family twice. It was then that I got my first tip, “the paddle faces the other direction, sweetie!”

To get my full money’s worth, I felt it certain that I needed to be on the water for an hour. When I managed to make it back to the dock, I was spent. It was ugly, but I felt accomplished. Next time, I might ask for help.

Jennifer Gage

Writer and Human Design reader in Los Angeles, CA

https://jenigage.com
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