I asked myself what I wanted. Here I am.

“When someone is seeking,” said Siddhartha, “it happens quite easily that he only sees the thing that he is seeking; that he is unable to find anything, unable to absorb anything, because he is only thinking of the thing he is seeking, because he has a goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means to have a goal; but finding means to be free, to be receptive, to have no goal. You, O worthy one, are perhaps indeed a seeker, for in striving toward your goal, you do not see many things that are under your nose.” — Herman Hesse, Siddhartha

I'm starting my third week in Austin. I felt a pull to come here that I just could no longer ignore. 

For so many years, I've been seeking to put together a life that externally validates me. I seek approval from outside sources to make sure that I am on the right path. I rarely check with myself to see what I want. Asking myself what's right for me, just me, not me accommodating for other's perceived and real expectations, has been the challenge of my life. For the past two years, I've been working hard to open myself up to possibilities, fight through and identify where I have limiting beliefs, but most of all, I've been working on being brave. 

It's only been recently that I've begun to share with people my true feelings and desires.

What I've found has been electrifying. When I started telling people about my dreams for my life, I didn't get the harsh judgment I thought I'd get. It turns out, when I am authentic, it resonates. People feel it. I find that people want to help me. It's roller coaster scary. Why?

BECAUSE GOD DAMMIT WE CAN MAKE OUR DREAMS COME TRUE. 

It can feel like it's too late. It can feel like I'm not deserving, but guess what? I decided the point on being on this earth is to find out what my purpose is and align myself with it to the best of my ability. It's to be me! It's to not hold back, it's to be brave and it's to do my best to enjoy each moment. 

Ever since I visited Austin a few years ago, it became my vision of heaven on earth. I would see myself in the backyard of a funky home in a long dress, holding a big bowl of good food to share with unidentified friends and family. 

Once I opened myself up to the possibility that I can travel on my own, it kept coming up. If I think Austin is heaven, why am I not there finding out?

So here I am. I didn't know a soul when I decided to buy this one way ticket. When people asked me, I answered honestly, I felt called to be here. Guess what, it's even better than I imagined. I don't know what's going to happen next, but I am sitting on the edge of my seat to find out.