Understanding the Sacral Center - do I know when enough is enough? perfectionism, burn out, performing life, and arbitrary goals
Do you know why I love Human Design? It has built-in signposts that we can use to evaluate if we’re balanced and in our authenticity.
The not-self themes of the energy centers and aura types are incredible tools to evaluate our wellbeing.
We don’t need to learn everything there is in our charts, we just need to understand some key elements. One of those crucial elements - especially in our culture of productivity and more is more? THE SACRAL CENTER!!
When we’re out of balance in the sacral center - or swept up in someone else’s sacral energy - we can massively overdo things.
GATHER ROUND DEAR ONES BECAUSE IF YOU LOVE TO GO OVERBOARD AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH - THEN YOU’VE BEEN SEDUCED BY SACRAL ENERGY!
Do you know why I love Human Design? It has built-in signposts that we can use to evaluate if we’re balanced and in our authenticity.
The not-self themes of the energy centers and aura types are incredible tools to evaluate our wellbeing.
We don’t need to learn everything there is in our charts, we just need to understand some key elements. One of those crucial elements - especially in our culture of productivity and more is more? THE SACRAL CENTER!!
When we’re out of balance in the sacral center - or swept up in someone else’s sacral energy - we can massively overdo things.
GATHER ROUND DEAR ONES BECAUSE IF YOU LOVE TO GO OVERBOARD AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH - THEN YOU’VE BEEN SEDUCED BY SACRAL ENERGY!
YES FRIENDS, HERE’S OUR POSTER CHILD FOR DOING TOO MUCH.
Jessie Spano put herself under constant pressure to perform. If you aren’t familiar with this iconic episode, the TL;DR is that her high standards had her stressed out and making questionable decisions.
If you’re a perfectionist (recovering or not) and hold yourself to impossibly high standards that drive you crazy - you likely don’t know when to stop.
Why do we put this pressure on ourselves to do the most?
Because we’re hoping that if we do everything perfectly and overachieve, we can free ourselves from feeling pain. We’re trying to run away from life’s realities by attempting to make our lives bulletproof. Perfectionism + impossible standards is a coping mechanism we apply to ourselves like a shield. We believe that somehow our achievements will allow us to fly above those who get criticism and that we can escape without being seen or evaluated.
Perfection is a distorted coping mechanism designed so that we don’t take a look at our vulnerabilities and real needs. Perfectionism takes the sting out of the hurt and rejection of life - “HAHA. YOU CANNOT HURT ME AS I HAVE ALREADY HURT MYSELF,” WE THINK.
We can beat ourselves up first, so you can’t hurt us... but the problem is - perfectionism is a self-fulfilling prophecy. We live constantly under the shadow of our own expectations, idealism (ahem, delusion) and the constant barrage of internal monologue THAT NOTHING IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH.
We’re here to enjoy life - not blaze through a checklist and amass achievements. Achievements mean nothing if they are done for external approval.
Perfectionism is performing life for validation. Performing life for validation is a vapid existence.
HOW DO I KNOW? BECAUSE I HAVE LIVED IT.
Performing life doesn’t feel good.
If you think you might be performing life - it looks like this:
Achieving the goal you were obsessed over, but when the reward comes, it feels empty instead of satisfying. We’re supposed to enjoy the journey and not race to the destination. When I achieve a goal only to find it was an empty milestone, I can then reflect back and evaluate- was the goal process or product? If it turns out it wasn’t thrilling or engaging during the process, then it was probably for show.
Believing there are winners and losers. We believe we have to compete or fail. If this is the loop you’re caught in - getting a reading can really sort out what the best path to your success feels like.
Worrying or living by what others think of you. Thinking you have only one option because of family expectations or cultural expectations. Examining where this pressure is coming from and who’s benefitting from this pressure is super critical here to begin to untie this know.
FULL ON BURN OUT. If you are getting sick or injured or if you are losing interest in life or if you are just done - you aren’t living for yourself. I HAVE BEEN THERE.
BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS YOU’RE HERE NOW AND HUMAN DESIGN CAN BE A TREMENDOUS TOOL TO HELP YOU OVERCOME YOUR SELF-SABOTAGING WAYS.
First, let’s take a look at the power of the sacral center for sacral beings:
The sacral center is sacred for Generators and Manifesting-Generators.
If you have your sacral defined (Generators + Manifesting-Generators) understanding your sacral energy will bring you greater alignment as your awareness of how your energy operates increases.
Developing a relationship with the frequency of yes and no is absolutely paramount for your wellbeing. You must respect what your energy is telling you and listen to it if you want to live your best life.
To feel satisfied and aligned as a Generator and Manifesting-Generator follow the sacral energy as it alerts you to your passions and lights up for things that make you feel enthusiastic - the sacral doesn’t follow where you point, it points where you’re meant to go.
The sacral doesn’t care what’s cool - it’s showing you what you’re designed to do.
Fueling your passion = satisfaction.
Chasing achievements that aren’t rooted in passion = frustration.
How do you relate to sacral energy when you are a Projector, Manifestor, or Reflector?
If you DON’T have a defined sacral center (Projectors, Manifestors, Reflectors), understanding how you REACT to and AMPLIFY sacral energy can change your life.
The energy coming from the sacral center is super seductive. Generators and Manfesting-Generators are designed to pull others towards them with their sacral energy. We get caught in their sacral tailwind and think that we can do what sacral beings can do.
Non-sacral beings can have shadow around being thought of as lazy or not as tough as others, so we’ll catch that sacral wind and ride it hard to prove we can hang. Well, the Generators we’ve been hanging around are fine the next day, while we’re completely and utterly depleted.
Non-sacral beings can easily get hyped up on the powerful sacral energy that Generators and Manifesting-Generators are providing and we can push ourselves out of our natural range. It’s a little bit like a sugar rush and sugar crash. We have to understand how to balance our sacral intake so that we’re not crashing all over the place because we’re the ones left to deal with our own damage when we’ve set out to prove we’re just like the sacrals.
Borrowed sacral energy is like running up a credit card.
We’re going to have to pay the bill eventually. Sacral energy used incorrectly fuels us to live hard in the paint, blinding us to our own reality. Allowing us to push into the not-self even more.
Because we’re all conditioned (sacrals and non-sacrals, perfectionists and non-perfectionists alike) to believe that our worth is our productivity, we’re all seduced to push (or surf) the sacral energy as hard and as fast as it will go.
No matter your energy type, pay attention if you are forcing your energy - because if you force your energy too much? It’s burnout city (and if you’re a non-sacral burnout typically lasts a long time).
Think of your body as a car. If we’re constantly pressing on the gas pedal, but never stopping for fuel or maintenance, we’re headed for a spectacular breakdown (and not to mention a whopper of a bill at the auto shop).
The same thing happens to us when we try to force our sacral energy (or surf sacral energy that’s not ours) for too long.
If we’re performing life or trying to keep out or outrun our pain - we’re never going to learn when enough is enough. We’ll always be striving, hoping the next thing will be the thing that protects us.
We can’t live a pain-free life, no matter how much we achieve. Living comes with bumps and lessons and hurts.
Doing the most does not protect us from hurt, so use your energy to do things that make you happy instead of feeling like you’ve got to perform.
If you do not know what it means to break out of performing (and I know for myself unlocking from this mindset took years…) Begin by noting the things that make you feel excited.
When shifting from performance to progress, it’s not about the end result, but the exploration and the discovery inherent in life. You do not have to be good at something to explore it. You do not need permission to do what your heart desires.
When we’re engaging in activities that fill us up, it’s easier to know when it call it a day. When we’ve put in enough time and it’s time to rest.
WITH HUMAN DESIGN WE HAVE OUR MAP TO GET BACK TO REAL SELVES. WE CAN MAKE A HOME IN OUR BODIES AND FEEL GOOD.
When we connect to our bodies and our own authority that we can begin to break the cycle. We have to connect to our bodies to hear our authority, otherwise we’re going to think someone else knows better and we’ll be seduced by FOMO.
We are meant for so much more than this. Understanding who we are at our core means we can combat the pressures that take us out of ourselves.
Use the roadmaps of the not-self to guide yourself back to your own authority.
If you are in your frustration, bitterness, anger, disappointment and you keep doing instead of slowing down, you’re in the not-self.
The medicine of truth is that you don’t need to achieve or perform your worth. You are already innately worthy. Use your time and energy to fill your cup.
You are not here to be validated by anyone but yourself. Likes and popularity will never fill you to satisfaction, they create an endless cycle for more.
You can validate yourself and it feels much better than seeking external validation. On the road to your own validation you will face challenges. You need to be able to face obstacles and keep going with your own path. This is the work.
I pulled myself out of the hole by listening to my heart, journaling, creating a support group, seeing a therapist, seeing a psychic, doing a LOT of yoga, meditation, sound-healing, using crystals, learning what foods were good for me, reading all the self-help books, reiki, learning how to do reiki, moving my body regularly, riding bikes with friends, and most importantly, allowing myself to do the things that sounded fun to me.
A Human Design reading is a wonderful place to learn to strip back the layers of conditioning and learn what energies you have with you so you can work with what you’ve got instead of being seduced by the performance lifestyle.
Further recommended reading for unplugging from perfectionism:
Gay Hendricks, The Big Leap
Celeste Headlee, Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing, and Underliving
Jenny Odell, How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy
If you’re curious to chat before booking with me - you can text me (310-919-0678) or schedule a free 15-minute Zoom meeting here.
How Human Design has completely changed my life
It wasn’t until I found Human Design that I was able to put all the pieces together of self-care, self-love, and self-trust. Human Design gave me the framework and the understanding of WHY these things were important. I was meditating, I was working out, I was eating healthily, but my mind was trapped in a lack mindset that was bringing me a F#ckton of suffering.
It wasn’t until I found Human Design that I was able to put all the pieces together of self-care, self-love, and self-trust. Human Design gave me the framework and the understanding of WHY these things were important. I was meditating, I was working out, I was eating healthily, but my mind was trapped in a lack mindset that was bringing me a F#ckton of suffering.
Human Design opened my world to a new way of seeing myself and the world. For the first time, I was able to let go of my conditioning around harmful body and eating patterns. I experienced profound freedom that I continue to enjoy today. I feel like a radiant goddess.
Here are just a few things that have changed in my life when I shifted into my own energetic authority:
I stopped worrying about my purpose and began to explore my likes, preferences, and desires. My days are now about channeling my highest self into the physical dimension.
I shifted from trying to control how others perceived me to be fully embodied as myself and no longer giving AF how others think of me. You know that quote what you think of me isn’t my business? Yup.
My relationship with my body completely changed. I feel better in my body than I ever have before. I no longer workout under the mindset of coercing my body to comply with a beauty standard, but instead, I practice moving from a place of reverence to my body. I see that our physical body is but one component of this life. Do you know what’s sexy? Feeling good in your body.
I love what I do every day and I enjoy the moment. I’ve almost eliminated my anxiety (I used to have panic attacks regularly for nearly a decade)
I have begun to systematically wipe out my self-sabotaging perfectionist programming, I no longer think about how people perceive me, I move forward with my life as an active participant and co-creator with the universe.
I found a relationship that is in alignment with my highest self. Understanding my husband’s Human Design has helped us grow and appreciate each other for who we are!
PROJECTORS: HERE TO KNOW THE OTHER
The Projector aura is here to know the other. It’s what we’re designed to do while here in these earthly bodies.
If you are a Projector, understanding how your aura works is critical intel for your health and wellbeing. Why? Projectors operate so differently from the other energy types. Finding out you are a Projector is usually a watershed moment in your personal timeline.
The Projector aura is shaped like a knife. Extending outward from your heart, it reaches out to the other. This energetic shape gives Projectors their ability to see. Our aura cuts through the other auras to see directly to the heart of whoever is in our direct path.
This makes us powerful, but as they say, with great power comes great responsibility. And just like a knife, it cuts both ways. We can get ourselves into a lot of trouble if we don’t learn how to properly utilize our auras. As a Projector, there should be an oath to protect our aura like a doctor takes the Hippocratic oath. First, do no harm.
SAFETY FIRST.
The Projector aura is here to know the other. It’s what we’re designed to do while here in these earthly bodies.
If you are a Projector, understanding how your aura works is critical intel for your health and wellbeing. Why? Projectors operate so differently from the other energy types. Finding out you are a Projector is usually a watershed moment in your personal timeline.
The Projector aura is shaped like a knife. Extending outward from your heart, it reaches out to the other. This energetic shape gives Projectors their ability to see. Our aura cuts through the other auras to see directly to the heart of whoever is in our direct path.
This makes us powerful, but as they say, with great power comes great responsibility. And just like a knife, it cuts both ways. We can get ourselves into a lot of trouble if we don’t learn how to properly utilize our auras. As a Projector, there should be an oath to protect our aura like a doctor takes the Hippocratic oath. First, do no harm.
SAFETY FIRST.
The way our aura is shaped means we are exceptionally open to the energy and influence of conditioning. The aura is designed to operate on a one-to-one basis, locking into the other and allowing attention and information to flow. The gift of the Projector aura is attention.
We don’t get power without a serious check to ours. When we cut through to others, we’re also opening ourselves up to the energy we’re examining. We’re completely vulnerable. This is why we MUST understand recognition and the invitation.
When I have a conversation, an energetic vortex forms around me. I literally lock in place. I am hooked into another person’s energy and aura. I am deeply listening and that person has ALL MY ATTENTION. A Projector’s attention and focus is a force. If you are with a Projector, all of a sudden you’ve told them your whole life story and they’ve listened.
(Two projectors who recognize each other? Pretty much immediately in each other’s circle of trust, at least that’s my experience).
Because of the powerful force that is created, Projectors must learn to only dive into the other when invited. We can’t take it personally if someone doesn’t lock in with us. Our frequency just doesn’t resonate with theirs.
Think of it this way, we don’t want doctors going around performing surgery without consent, so why should we force our way into an aura that’s not open to us?
Recognition is a portal. Use recognition to understand who is open to you and who is not. If you are not recognized, wait, because someone else will be with you shortly.
If you learned the Projector strategy and your heart fell, understand that this is to protect everyone. The invitation makes sure everyone is operating from a place of their highest good.
Diving deep into the other is not meant to be done with reckless abandon.
Just as we have free will to choose our doctor and when to seek treatment (or not), not everyone is meant to interact with your aura. We are designed to interact with those who recognize and invite us into their lives. Respect those who aren’t meant to benefit from your attention (it’s a waste of your time anyway).
Being a Projector can sometimes feel like a riddle. You must recognize yourself first before you can be healthily recognized by others. Do you know the saying about looking to others to fill your cup? That is extremely important for Projectors.
There’s a reason Ra said Projectors are the most troubled. This is because we’re the only energy type that NEEDS ATTENTION AND RECOGNITION TO SURVIVE AND THRIVE. One of my favorite Human Design teachers says Projectors are needy little bitches. LOL. YUP.
The riddle comes into play because while we do need recognition from others if we don’t do the self-work to recognizing ourselves first, we’re setting ourselves up for imminent disaster.
Most of us do not receive proper recognition training, so this becomes our biggest place of reprogramming. Attention is our life force and can also lead to our destruction. I know that sounds so harsh, but it’s true. (PS, ARE YOU RAISING A PROJECTOR? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE YOUR CHILD QUALITY ONE-ON-ONE ATTENTION, THIS IS FOR THE GOOD OF HUMANITY.)
If we’re indiscriminately looking for attention, we can get sucked into some bad shit. We’re going to override our body’s natural authority just to get that hit of attention. I know this because I’ve done it. It feels horrible. We must learn to find the right attention and the right attention begins with yourself.
Two things to consider with your attention:
1) know that it can attract narcissists who find our particular brand of attention is like energetic heroin. If you’ve found yourself in a negative feedback loop with a narcissist, you’ve got to cut the tie. The connection isn’t healthy. They are basking in your attention and sapping your energy that could be applied to something much better for you.
2) a distracted Projector is getting faulty intel and that can be dangerous. Do not lock into someone unless you are ready to jump in 100%. Reading someone when you’re not properly locked in leads to poor guidance and bad vibes. REMEMBER, RECOGNITION IS A TWO WAY STREET.
When the connection is right and healthy - everyone leaves the interaction feeling renewed, energized, with that warm, fuzzy feeling. Not feeling warm and fuzzy? Probs not getting recognized for your authentic spirit.
When you are alone, listen to your own guidance and connect with your heart. How do you want to be seen? Being alone in your own aura space is necessary to protect your health, reset from energy, and to rebuild your internal resources. When we interact with others it is an energetic exchange, so it takes time to release that energy back to the universe and reset your system back to its natural settings.
In a perfect world, most Projectors would hang out by themselves working on their craft and then get a call into action. When the call comes in you check with yourself - is this person seeing me? If it’s a yes, proceed. IF this person doesn’t see you for you, LEAVE ‘EM ON READ.
If you’re reading this and you AREN’T a Projector - let’s talk about how to interact effectively with a Projector.
When you recognize a Projector and seek them out - you create beautiful synergy (and PS the perfect pairing is a Generator + a Projector - we complement the shit out of each other).
A Projector is activated by your life force through recognition and invitation. Call a Projector when you want advice or guidance. Do you need someone to see the context and the big picture? Get yourself a Projector. Projectors are masters of systems. They’ve taken the time to read the manual so to speak. We’re 20% of the population - so we’re energetic outliers. We’re great consultants.
Once activated, the Projector provides guidance based on their vision. The gift of the aligned Projector is vision: guidance through a new way of seeing. Projectors have a sphere of mastery which is their life work.
If you are a Projector and you’re trying to understand what your life work is - start to think about when people are seeking you out for advice.
What do people want your take on? Journal and track when you’ve been recognized.
As you wait for your recognition and invitations, open up space in your life for your own joy.
Projector vision is as much a blessing as it is a curse because as deeply as we see the other, we *think* we see ourselves, but we don’t.
So when you’re in that period between invites - explore your interests! Do something that makes you feel good.
Your job as a Projector is to get in alignment with yourself so that you are ready for those invites and have the discernment to know when you’re being correctly recognized.