Understanding the Sacral Center - do I know when enough is enough? perfectionism, burn out, performing life, and arbitrary goals
Do you know why I love Human Design? It has built-in signposts that we can use to evaluate if we’re balanced and in our authenticity.
The not-self themes of the energy centers and aura types are incredible tools to evaluate our wellbeing.
We don’t need to learn everything there is in our charts, we just need to understand some key elements. One of those crucial elements - especially in our culture of productivity and more is more? THE SACRAL CENTER!!
When we’re out of balance in the sacral center - or swept up in someone else’s sacral energy - we can massively overdo things.
GATHER ROUND DEAR ONES BECAUSE IF YOU LOVE TO GO OVERBOARD AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH - THEN YOU’VE BEEN SEDUCED BY SACRAL ENERGY!
YES FRIENDS, HERE’S OUR POSTER CHILD FOR DOING TOO MUCH.
Jessie Spano put herself under constant pressure to perform. If you aren’t familiar with this iconic episode, the TL;DR is that her high standards had her stressed out and making questionable decisions.
If you’re a perfectionist (recovering or not) and hold yourself to impossibly high standards that drive you crazy - you likely don’t know when to stop.
Why do we put this pressure on ourselves to do the most?
Because we’re hoping that if we do everything perfectly and overachieve, we can free ourselves from feeling pain. We’re trying to run away from life’s realities by attempting to make our lives bulletproof. Perfectionism + impossible standards is a coping mechanism we apply to ourselves like a shield. We believe that somehow our achievements will allow us to fly above those who get criticism and that we can escape without being seen or evaluated.
Perfection is a distorted coping mechanism designed so that we don’t take a look at our vulnerabilities and real needs. Perfectionism takes the sting out of the hurt and rejection of life - “HAHA. YOU CANNOT HURT ME AS I HAVE ALREADY HURT MYSELF,” WE THINK.
We can beat ourselves up first, so you can’t hurt us... but the problem is - perfectionism is a self-fulfilling prophecy. We live constantly under the shadow of our own expectations, idealism (ahem, delusion) and the constant barrage of internal monologue THAT NOTHING IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH.
We’re here to enjoy life - not blaze through a checklist and amass achievements. Achievements mean nothing if they are done for external approval.
Perfectionism is performing life for validation. Performing life for validation is a vapid existence.
HOW DO I KNOW? BECAUSE I HAVE LIVED IT.
Performing life doesn’t feel good.
If you think you might be performing life - it looks like this:
Achieving the goal you were obsessed over, but when the reward comes, it feels empty instead of satisfying. We’re supposed to enjoy the journey and not race to the destination. When I achieve a goal only to find it was an empty milestone, I can then reflect back and evaluate- was the goal process or product? If it turns out it wasn’t thrilling or engaging during the process, then it was probably for show.
Believing there are winners and losers. We believe we have to compete or fail. If this is the loop you’re caught in - getting a reading can really sort out what the best path to your success feels like.
Worrying or living by what others think of you. Thinking you have only one option because of family expectations or cultural expectations. Examining where this pressure is coming from and who’s benefitting from this pressure is super critical here to begin to untie this know.
FULL ON BURN OUT. If you are getting sick or injured or if you are losing interest in life or if you are just done - you aren’t living for yourself. I HAVE BEEN THERE.
BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS YOU’RE HERE NOW AND HUMAN DESIGN CAN BE A TREMENDOUS TOOL TO HELP YOU OVERCOME YOUR SELF-SABOTAGING WAYS.
First, let’s take a look at the power of the sacral center for sacral beings:
The sacral center is sacred for Generators and Manifesting-Generators.
If you have your sacral defined (Generators + Manifesting-Generators) understanding your sacral energy will bring you greater alignment as your awareness of how your energy operates increases.
Developing a relationship with the frequency of yes and no is absolutely paramount for your wellbeing. You must respect what your energy is telling you and listen to it if you want to live your best life.
To feel satisfied and aligned as a Generator and Manifesting-Generator follow the sacral energy as it alerts you to your passions and lights up for things that make you feel enthusiastic - the sacral doesn’t follow where you point, it points where you’re meant to go.
The sacral doesn’t care what’s cool - it’s showing you what you’re designed to do.
Fueling your passion = satisfaction.
Chasing achievements that aren’t rooted in passion = frustration.
How do you relate to sacral energy when you are a Projector, Manifestor, or Reflector?
If you DON’T have a defined sacral center (Projectors, Manifestors, Reflectors), understanding how you REACT to and AMPLIFY sacral energy can change your life.
The energy coming from the sacral center is super seductive. Generators and Manfesting-Generators are designed to pull others towards them with their sacral energy. We get caught in their sacral tailwind and think that we can do what sacral beings can do.
Non-sacral beings can have shadow around being thought of as lazy or not as tough as others, so we’ll catch that sacral wind and ride it hard to prove we can hang. Well, the Generators we’ve been hanging around are fine the next day, while we’re completely and utterly depleted.
Non-sacral beings can easily get hyped up on the powerful sacral energy that Generators and Manifesting-Generators are providing and we can push ourselves out of our natural range. It’s a little bit like a sugar rush and sugar crash. We have to understand how to balance our sacral intake so that we’re not crashing all over the place because we’re the ones left to deal with our own damage when we’ve set out to prove we’re just like the sacrals.
Borrowed sacral energy is like running up a credit card.
We’re going to have to pay the bill eventually. Sacral energy used incorrectly fuels us to live hard in the paint, blinding us to our own reality. Allowing us to push into the not-self even more.
Because we’re all conditioned (sacrals and non-sacrals, perfectionists and non-perfectionists alike) to believe that our worth is our productivity, we’re all seduced to push (or surf) the sacral energy as hard and as fast as it will go.
No matter your energy type, pay attention if you are forcing your energy - because if you force your energy too much? It’s burnout city (and if you’re a non-sacral burnout typically lasts a long time).
Think of your body as a car. If we’re constantly pressing on the gas pedal, but never stopping for fuel or maintenance, we’re headed for a spectacular breakdown (and not to mention a whopper of a bill at the auto shop).
The same thing happens to us when we try to force our sacral energy (or surf sacral energy that’s not ours) for too long.
If we’re performing life or trying to keep out or outrun our pain - we’re never going to learn when enough is enough. We’ll always be striving, hoping the next thing will be the thing that protects us.
We can’t live a pain-free life, no matter how much we achieve. Living comes with bumps and lessons and hurts.
Doing the most does not protect us from hurt, so use your energy to do things that make you happy instead of feeling like you’ve got to perform.
If you do not know what it means to break out of performing (and I know for myself unlocking from this mindset took years…) Begin by noting the things that make you feel excited.
When shifting from performance to progress, it’s not about the end result, but the exploration and the discovery inherent in life. You do not have to be good at something to explore it. You do not need permission to do what your heart desires.
When we’re engaging in activities that fill us up, it’s easier to know when it call it a day. When we’ve put in enough time and it’s time to rest.
WITH HUMAN DESIGN WE HAVE OUR MAP TO GET BACK TO REAL SELVES. WE CAN MAKE A HOME IN OUR BODIES AND FEEL GOOD.
When we connect to our bodies and our own authority that we can begin to break the cycle. We have to connect to our bodies to hear our authority, otherwise we’re going to think someone else knows better and we’ll be seduced by FOMO.
We are meant for so much more than this. Understanding who we are at our core means we can combat the pressures that take us out of ourselves.
Use the roadmaps of the not-self to guide yourself back to your own authority.
If you are in your frustration, bitterness, anger, disappointment and you keep doing instead of slowing down, you’re in the not-self.
The medicine of truth is that you don’t need to achieve or perform your worth. You are already innately worthy. Use your time and energy to fill your cup.
You are not here to be validated by anyone but yourself. Likes and popularity will never fill you to satisfaction, they create an endless cycle for more.
You can validate yourself and it feels much better than seeking external validation. On the road to your own validation you will face challenges. You need to be able to face obstacles and keep going with your own path. This is the work.
I pulled myself out of the hole by listening to my heart, journaling, creating a support group, seeing a therapist, seeing a psychic, doing a LOT of yoga, meditation, sound-healing, using crystals, learning what foods were good for me, reading all the self-help books, reiki, learning how to do reiki, moving my body regularly, riding bikes with friends, and most importantly, allowing myself to do the things that sounded fun to me.
A Human Design reading is a wonderful place to learn to strip back the layers of conditioning and learn what energies you have with you so you can work with what you’ve got instead of being seduced by the performance lifestyle.
Further recommended reading for unplugging from perfectionism:
Gay Hendricks, The Big Leap
Celeste Headlee, Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing, and Underliving
Jenny Odell, How to Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy
If you’re curious to chat before booking with me - you can text me (310-919-0678) or schedule a free 15-minute Zoom meeting here.