Learning to trust your aura when you’re a control freak
The wisdom of 2020 for me has been all about trust.
As a Projector, my aura strategy is to wait for the invitation. The way I learned to trust my aura was through hindsight.
If I force my will without an invitation, it’s pretty inevitable that things will get real dicey.
As an impatient control freak and (recovering) perfectionist learning to let go of my conditioning that puts pressure on me to do all the things, all the time has been a herculean task, but extremely rewarding as I lean into trusting that I don’t have to do it all.
So this summer, when I was feeling particularly bitter (because all my action wasn’t immediately paying off in the ways I wanted it to), I decided I had one option I hadn’t tried: FULL SURRENDER INTO MY STRATEGY.
If you're a control freak, raise your hand.
[Image Description: Tim Meadows as Mr. Duvall in Mean Girls reluctantly raises his hand that is wrapped in a soft cast]
It looks like...Oh, all of us?
The wisdom of 2020 for me has been all about trust.
As a Projector, my aura strategy is to wait for the invitation. The way I learned to trust my aura was through hindsight.
If I force my will without an invitation, it’s pretty inevitable that things will get real dicey.
As an impatient control freak and (recovering) perfectionist learning to let go of my conditioning that puts pressure on me to do all the things, all the time has been a herculean task, but extremely rewarding as I lean into trusting that I don’t have to do it all.
So this summer, when I was feeling particularly bitter (because all my action wasn’t immediately paying off in the ways I wanted it to), I decided I had one option I hadn’t tried: FULL SURRENDER INTO MY STRATEGY.
[Image Description: Macaulay Culkin in his iconic role in Home Alone holds his face in sheer terror]
I was ready to ACTUALLY let go, Not just let go where I felt comfortable, but truly let go and let god, if you will.
What has followed of course is exactly what we talk about in sessions: THE MAGIC HAPPENS WHEN WE SURRENDER.
When we’re not getting our desired result, it’s time to try something new. For most of us, trying something new means slowing down, letting go of control and allowing ourselves to become receptive.
The lesson that floated to me as I read about string theory and the art of doing less this summer, is that what is most helpful is the opposite of what we think we need to do.
What followed when I finally stopped meddling in my own life? A ton of magic.
I've naturally expanded my professional and personal network with super lovely people across the globe and here in Austin, found myself on the receiving end of beautiful invitations and opportunities and I've been reminded yet again that the more I trust, the more my aura does the hard work for me.
Everyone has this ability. It's the art of subtraction.
[TL;DR: When the ways we are used to operating keep landing us the same frustrating results, it's time to stop trying and start allowing.]
If you're accustomed to doing the most and it's not providing the results you want, it’s probably time to experiment with doing less.
You aren't meant to do it all. You've got a specific zone of genius that you operate in and so do others. If we're out here trying to do everyone's job, we're blocking our own magic.
We all have different magnets in our aura calling in people and opportunities at all times. If we can slow down and release our expectations and control, those magnets can really get to work.
In my clarity sessions, we go over all the different places that you have magnets pulling the resources you need to you.
No matter where you are with your Human Design journey you can experiment with doing less and see what the universe serves up.
Shifting success to work for you: Navigating the world with an open heart center and swimming against the tide of a productivity at any cost culture.
In Human Design, wisdom doesn’t come from the defined energy, but from the white spaces in our charts.
Ra Uru Hu (channeler of the Human Design System) said it best when he said the white space is where we go to school.
In Human Design, wisdom doesn’t come from the defined energy, but from the white spaces in our charts.
Ra Uru Hu (channeler of the Human Design System) said it best when he said the white space is where we go to school.
Therefore, whenever I’m in my not-self over my worth, I go to open heart school where I am constantly reminded that open hearts have nothing to gain from trying to prove themselves.
So check your chart, if you have white space in the heart (ego) center (70% of us do), you have the potential to get really burned by societal pressures to perform and achieve.
TAKE THAT IN FOR A MINUTE. 70% OF PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE STABLE HEART ENERGY AT THEIR DISPOSAL. This means that the majority of people are getting sucked into competitive energy and ego energy that’s not theirs.
EXPLAINS A LOT, DOESN’T IT.
70% OF PEOPLE ARE OUT HERE THINKING, “I HAVE TO ACHIEVE TO PROVE MY WORTH.”
WE HAVE GOT TO GET OFF THIS HAMSTER WHEEL.
UNLESS YOU ENJOY TAKING SOMEONE ELSE’S RIDE (SEE HAMSTER CLINGING TO WHEEL FOR DEAR LIFE ABOVE), learning to balance that open heart center is critical for our wellbeing.
We’re not meant to compete in the same way that defined hearts do. Those blessed with their own heart energy typically have the built in self-worth that we have to build on our own.
So how does the open heart center work?
Our heart centers amplify the output from surrounding defined heart energy. We’re processing centers for heart energy, which explains why we can really get caught in the tailwind of our cultural obsession with action and achievement.
Hi, yes, I’d like off the hamster wheel please.
Balancing your open heart is possible!
First step is compassion towards ourselves and others. Second step is remembering with an open heart you aren’t here to prove your worth.
These are the only steps needed in heart school. Compassion towards yourself and the mantra, “I have nothing to prove.”
When you find yourself on the hamster wheel, feel free to give a quick reframe to the experience by saying thank you for teaching me that I have nothing to prove.
No one told us we’re out here amplifying the energy of others or that we can quickly get carried away while others can use that energy wisely. From my experience, it feels like failing at having value while others seem SO VALUABLE and it feels random. It can trigger my victim mentality and feel very, WHY NOT ME?*
No matter what we try, we can’t earn our way to heart energy if we don’t have it in our charts.
It is fully random that some people get heart energy and you and I didn’t. If you need something to blame, blame the stars. (Our bodygraph is a map of our energy and that energy outlined on the map is imprinted star energy. They just weren’t on heart energy when you were born and that is OK!)
It’s all going to be fine because we can shift our attention and awareness to where it can have an impact.
So my open heart friends - when we’re in heart school, we’re learning that we are already enough.
We may be in heart school for years, days, months, or on and off for our whole lives. We’re in heart school as much as we need until we integrate the knowledge that Open heart energy people aren’t here to base our worth on our productivity - it’s just not our energy!
So, open heart - you have nothing to prove. Now what?
Sitting down and defining success for ourselves, especially during testing times is a spiritual exercise that can bring greater alignment into your life.
If you didn’t have the media setting the agenda for you, what would success look like for you?
If you haven’t taken a step back from TV, magazines, social media anything that triggers you to act out of low self-worth, well- now’s the time. It’s super helpful to cut out the noise to connect back with your core essence.
If you need research proving that there’s nothing to gain from pushing yourself into endless productivity - I recommend finding these two books:
Yes, I read two books this summer to prove that I have nothing to prove, but if you’re anything like me and you need some solid validation and well-researched evidence about the benefits of shifting your success metrics - read one or both of these. Celeste Headlee’s research showing how our definition of success has been passed down and shaped through the generations genuinely blew my mind.
When we follow our own guidance and intuition and work on building our own self-worth foundation it can feel lonely, but know that we’re in the midst of creating new worlds. We’re making ourselves unshakeable. We’re swimming against the old ways and new ways of experiencing and experimenting can be met with skepticism by the greater collective.
Double-down on your own way!My life is infinitely more enjoyable when I am process-oriented. We’re on the vanguard when we decide to enjoy the moment and not just the end results.
While I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to stop getting caught in the achievement lifestyle completely, knowing that I have an open heart helps me become so much more aware when I am out of my alignment.
I am here to feel and experience, I gain wisdom and awareness by growing my daily ability to appreciate life.
If you’d like to explore this for yourself here are some reflection questions you can journal on:
How have your values shifted during this time?
How do you define success?
What lessons have you been learning lately?
How do I know when I am in my not-self?
*if you click on this link know this is my favorite commercial from college in the year 2005. Yes, it is enforcing gender stereotypes + objectifies women, but I definitely felt,(maybe still feel) like an Ashley a lot.
Receiving a Human Design Reading
When choosing a reader, find someone who resonates with you. Having your Human Design chart read is a deeply personal experience and each reader will interpret your chart with their own lens.
When I read a Human Design Chart here’s my approach:
I see every person as an individual blend of energy - this personal energy creates the fuel for the talents and gifts that are meant to be divinely expressed through you.
When I read your chart, I read it as a whole picture - I see the messages the universe is here to express through you - the places where you have the potential for genius and the places where you are meant to impact the world.
When choosing a reader, find someone who resonates with you. Having your Human Design chart read is a deeply personal experience and each reader will interpret your chart with their own lens.
When I read a Human Design Chart here’s my approach:
I see every person as an individual blend of energy - this personal energy creates the fuel for the talents and gifts that are meant to be divinely expressed through you.
When I read your chart, I read it as a whole picture - I see the messages the universe is here to express through you - the places where you have the potential for genius and the places where you are meant to impact the world.
A reading can become a personally transformative experience as we allow our bodies to hear how magical we really are.
We frequently downplay our personal magic or don’t realize what our magic is (because we innately think everyone can do what we can do and that’s simply not true!)
Therefore, I see our time together in a clarity session as a powerful tool for your growth and spiritual alignment.
As you ascend into your full potential, one of the best gifts you can give yourself is the opportunity to see yourself through the eyes of a divine mirror.
I provide a reframe on who you are, so you can cut away the energetic drags and free yourself to co-create with the universe.
You have the power already. My role is guiding you back to your authority and developing trust within yourself. You are the keeper of the keys 🔑 in unlocking your full power, you just need a map.
If you’re ready to work with me - book here!